Kristen Blog

  There are many things about me which I don't believe my kids justly appreciate, but the most under-appreciated aspect of them all (as I see it) is their free access to daily, personalized comedy. And part of it has to do with what I like to call "Mom Tactics."  Mom Tactics are strategies that you invent (and constantly fine tune - like a guitar string) to psychologically manipulate each child.  Now, before you call the government, I am very open and obvious about my manipulations.  For example, when Eden (Matt Jr, female edition...ie, sweet and sensitive) tells me she will NOT take Jesse with her, I simply say in an overly loud and empathetic voice, "Awwwww...poor Jesse.  It's not that she doesn't like you.  She just doesn't want to take you with her." And, naturally, she turns, laughing; because, yeah...we both saw what I just did there.  It was equally obvious AND hilarious. Of course, if it were Xander, it would take a more intense tone.  No ...

  Oh, Wednesday.  Dear, terrible, horrible, no good Wednesday.   I was on vacation day 2, Matt went back to work, and I was super stressed (because apparently vacationing at home is horribly stressful).   I got that feeling, right between my eyes, that I am about to cry, or I could cry, or I need to/want to cry, and it just lingered there all day. My heart felt like it was going to burst right out of my chest.   Then, I found Eden, and I made her come and listen to my whining (and she rubbed my aching back!) and when I was done, she said, "Well...that sounds about like you." And, in my clear confusion, I asked, "What do you MEAN?!!" "Well...all of this stuff that's not your fault, and you feel guilty."  She actually shrugged.  "You're always feeling guilty about things that you can't control." Out of the mouths of babes. Babes I raised, btw... While I completely believe the kids feel it is their duty to completely drain me...each of m...

Friday was a good day.  The sun was shining.  I was knocking out problems and finding my way around road blocks like a boss.  So, all in all, kicking you know good and well what.   All the nice people were out, waiting their turns, waving me ahead of them, smiling.   And I was like, "Everything's going my way!!!" 🎶 Its funny how all the nice people come out when I'm in a good mood, and all the idiots and (well, you know...) show up when I'm cranky.  What a coincidence!  On the cusp of a few really tough weeks, and my natural bent toward complete and utter dissatisfaction with life, it was NICE to have a good day.   Upon reflection, I had a few, wise revelations: 1) I was reading Lamentations in my daily OT time, and...man their world's about to stink, like Royal Stench-stink.  I couldn't help but compare, as I sat in my big comfortable bed, looking out over my luscious garden, and thinking of the army I could feed just out of my pantry, and ...

I took a small group of 1st graders around the zoo on Friday.  So, how was YOUR week?? I was actually really nervous about the whole deal, but I just kept promising myself it would all work out.  It ALWAYS does, in the end. Well...I didn't set myself up for a very good start, because I also promised myself I would go to bed extra early the night before.  And THAT didn't go well!!  Of course, since I awoke VERY tired and equally cranky, the traffic was ALSO full of morons to my left and idiots on my right.  (I'm sorry!!  I'm sorry.  Tell me you don't think like that when you are at the end of your rope, and if not...here's a quarter.)  You get the picture?  Not exactly how I was hoping to start out the trip. Fortunately, despite a whole lot of confusion (thanks, maps!) and crank, I made it on time (since the school was a little late).  And when they showed up, I found out I was going to have another 2 adults and 1 kid in my group. ...

Oh the joys of being human.   Please don't try to cut me off in the McDonald's dual drive-thru lanes (a secret pet peeve of mine), or do anything else even mildly suspicious of potentially trying to cheat me; because, if you do, you will see a less desirable me than I would typically choose to present. ...especially if I am at the end of my limits. So, this week's fun story...I TOTALLY lost it crazy-paranoid style on a total stranger.  No, seriously, I became entirely convinced that my car salesman was unethically withholding my car title from me...because he didn't properly answer my text in a "reasonable" amount of time.  And so, naturally, I LET HIM HAVE it...in a series of communications ranging from snarky to slightly berating.  So, that was awesome.   I have to admit, I was pretty humiliated when I realized that my anger and panic were, for the most part, ungrounded.  Fortunately for me, while my number one was absent and (nearly) unreachable, my seco...