Kristen Vs. The World

Me and my great = LOVE!!!

I was thinking about writing a story called Kristen Vs. The World...but turns out, they already made that one.  It's called "Attack of the 50 Foot Woman," and I would post an explanatory pic...but I insist on more clothes in the current version.

Speaking of clothes (and I should really put this on my knitting page), I finished a challenging piece just in time for my Great's 1st birthday party!!!  I can not think of a more special occasion for the big reveal.  It's not perfect.  Nothing I make ever is, and I am my worst critic.  Once I made a whole outfit, skirt and top, in a lovely small stitch.  I wore it to church, and when no one noticed it, I went home a threw the whole thing out.

We do NOT suggest you follow this plan.

Which brings me to...I really wish I could spend a LOT less time caring about what other people think.  And I realize my empathy is a gift.  But if I could just separate empathy from anxiously trying to read other people's minds with an emphasis in paranoia and suspicion all the time...that would be GREAT!

Well...this time, big new knitting project reveal, I came a little more seasoned.  I love it, and that is ALL that matters.  I chose to NOT put all my hope in the fact that someone would notice my effort and ability.  Turns out they did anyway, but it wouldn't have mattered if they didn't. I put my heart and soul into it.  It's not perfect, but I am learning to accept that about myself. One teeny tiny step at a time.

Watching and not being able to participate is hard.

Anyway.  I've had some big leaps and some big failures this week.  I've experienced hope and hopelessness.  I really wish I could quit crashing like that, but it seems to be an inevitable part of my existence.  "Rise and fall and get back up.  You don't have any other choice." 🤷. Things could always be worse, after all.  But good grief, it is hard, sometimes, to be stuck in this decrepit, decaying, humanity-filled skin.  Oh well, "We're all in this together," whether we like it or not.

And you can count on the fact that I will keep on putting in all the effort I can to make this existence less horrible for as many people (and creatures), current and posterity, that I can.

My sweet, little neighbor girl saved a bunny this week.  (I think she may be one of the few who "gets" me.)

And recently, that has meant Saving the Monarchs.  I have successfully released one Fred.  I have subsequently captured and protected 7 Freds.  I thought I lost one this week.  I have caught a few escapees, but this one went missing for several days.  Today, I got diligent and started to clean the cage.  Guess what I found...

An extra chrysalis.  

Whew.  Someone went rogue, alright.  He found a spot and transformed, right there in caged secrecy.

The classic J before the chrysalis.  💖

I have to admit, it is a relief to not have any more "The Hungry Caterpillars."  It was kind of stressful making sure I kept their food supply ample.  I am relieved to be at the point where I just get to watch 7 Monarchs turn from chrysalis to butterfly.  That said, I did take the time to survey the grass for small milkweed plants BEFORE I mowed today.  And, I'm glad I did.  I found 3 caterpillars and rescued them to the safer, confined plants...not in my obsessively, surveillanced, enclosed, indoor habitat. 

Why do I take so much to heart?!!!

I was explaining my Monarch fascination to a friend the other day, and I knew when I saw her face...

"Yeah...it's just odd, right?"

I don't need to be cool when I have cool Jesse in his new digs.  FYI...he hopped the fence at the dog park today, but that is a story for another time...

And she tried to encourage me that it was "cool," but I knew the truth.  I just don't take joy in the typical things.  I mean...I am "worldly" in a sense.  If we are talking about nature.

I don't know.  I just don't fit in.  I never have, really.  Maybe that's why my heart is eternally focused on the "next."

There has to be a next I get to spend with these people, right?!!

And I know there is next, because there are too many signs pointing in that direction.  So, I will continue to put my hope there, but I will also continue to do everything I can to make the now a little more comfortable for us all.  What can I say?  It's just not in my nature to be anything else.  And I can't be anything less (or more) than that.

Happy Reflection Day/Sunday.  Whether I like it or not, everything is starting to pick back up.  Let's make the best of what we've got.  Ok?  

Really hoping this one makes it.  I actually planted it, but there is some confusion over the exact type.  Humor me with guesses, please???