Evan's is 8 and I am Being Brave

Well, that was a week!  First, and most importantly, EVAN TURNED 8!!

I know Squid Games is controversial.  I don't understand or recommend the show.  But...he only knows the more innocent Roblox version, and they, all 5 of them, bonded over this little game this week, so...💕

I am not exactly the best at event planning.  I could give you examples, but why deflate my ego like that?  It's been bashed around enough this week.  Plus...I have a LOT of excuses.  I have 3 immediate family member birthdays this month.  For two of them, (the other is Matt...he is easy to please!) I have to go through the entire, painstaking process of finding out what they want, shopping for what they want, and wrapping what they want.  Then, I have to plan a celebration.  Listen, I was exhausted at "finding out what they want."  I have enough on my plate without all the extras, with work and work and the farm and the zoo and the crafting.  Who has time for this? I've never been good with calendars and schedules and the EXTRAS.  #holidays

Anyway, Thank God for Amazon.  I'm sorry.  I don't have the energy to think about why I shouldn't be lining the pockets of an already trillionaire.  I do take time to squirm and cringe about what is going on in the factory where these cheap toys are made, because I care!!  I just can't fix the world, hard as I try.  So, my "caving" is buying the toys and...whatever...from the comfort of my own home with the ease of my own phone.  (FYI...I will recycle as much of the packaging as possible and be super kind to the deliverer!)

So, here's the deal.  After all that work...I, then, have to plan a day that my child will consider SPECTACULAR.  Pressure much?

It helped me to know that 1) The fun did not involve any extra energy from yours truly 2) This precious, spread-out clan was totally bonding 3) Evan won.  What totally biased Mom could ask for more?

I will admit, with the latter half of my progeny, I have been more generous with funds (AND rules) and less generous with my time.  That's just how it has worked out.  I've never gone overboard with the huge, expensive parties.  I don't have that kind of time or money.  (I honestly don't know how people do it!)  I prefer to keep things relatively chill and intimate.  Step one was simply asking him what he wanted to do.  He chose two friends and his brother (Awww!! 💕 Unfortunately, I feel like the reverse sentiment may be fleeting with my pre-teen. 😭💔) and the trampoline park.  I threw in cheap, buffet pizza.

It all worked out.

I, even, let my hair down (so to speak) at Cici's.  It has been a LONG time. 💕

I mean...we showed up at the trampoline park and it was closed.  So, PSA: winging it doesn't ALWAYS work out.  Fortunately, they just weren't open...yet.  We took a chance on pizza BEFORE jumping, and we all walked away happy.

He even got to have a big opening celebration, afterwards, with BOTH sets of grandparents and all the right gifts.  (I am also not above ordering for the parents or sending Amazon links.  He gets what he wants, and we are all comfortably happy.  💁)

At the end of it all, I just basically collapsed.  It was a HUGE work week.  His birthday was on Thursday, and I like to save time (and/or make it more special) by celebrating ON the actual day.  So, THAT was a long day.  And I hadn't been feeling that great, besides.  I am struggling with some very minor health issues that keep me weak and fatigued...and I've been avoiding the confrontation of it all in the midst of...omg...everything else we have going on right now.  So, I insisted I could make it on Friday.  

What a CUTE plushie????  I don't think any of us REALLY know what it is we bought him this year, but...look how SWEET and HAPPY he is?  Isn't that enough to make a mama proud?

I let the boys sleep a little late, and I headed to my school.  Two classes.  I got this!

Nope.  No I don't.  I had to turn around and walk out on a classroom straight to the doctor, because I needed a little help.

I HATE that!

I like to think of myself as strong and competent.  And, in fact, there are quite a few people kind of relying on that.  

I don't like asking for help, and I DON'T like being told what to do...especially when I don't like what you are telling me.  

I do, however, like being in charge of creating situations in which my children ALL bond...and are ALL happy and entertained.  I love my babies!!

Doctor's and I tend to have a difficult time.  Fortunately, the one I saw Friday was kind of an interim, collaborating with my official doctor.  This one was young and sweet and was having his first baby!!! And since I am, obviously, the expert on babies, we talked about November birthdays and inductions.  I could have pinched his precious cheeks.  

So, no.  I didn't kill the messenger.

Instead, I went home and cried myself to sleep.  And when I awoke, I tantrummed about it to my oldest child, and she said, "Mom.  Your feelings are valid.  You have good reasons for not wanting to do that."  And that gave me the strength I needed to tell my husband...

"If you had control over my medical decisions, what would you say."

Ummm...pressure much? This picture summarizes my life.  😂😂😂

Thereby, I eliminated myself from a difficult decision AND removed the doctor from my authority.  All in one text. 

Now, I am back under trusted care.  The ONLY reasonably trusted care.

Whew!  What a week.

We are facing two more birthdays in this next one.  And who knows how many obstacles, pressures and decisions.  Ugh...

Yes, please.

Here's to health!!  Because...YOU GUYS.  Health is scary.  I have been there before, and I realize how not brave I am the MOST when I am not feeling well.  I don't like not feeling brave.

Fortunately, for me, I know the difference between feeling and being.  It's ok to feel afraid.  Being brave is facing it head on, despite what we feel.

Want to be brave with me?

Love, Always

Your Little Homie.

A rainbow for Evan's birthday.  How appropriate.

 ***Corrected the link from my last post.  I realized I sent you to the cheese sauce and not the soup.  All apologies.*. Here is the correct one for the Loaded Cheesy Potato Soup.

*All Apologies by Nirvana