Kristen Blog

I hope he gets his Dad's composure. Oh, dear Heavenly Father, help me. There is no emotion greater than the one I experience as I watch my son and my “adopted” sons play baseball. When they are down in the count, and I am SCREAMING all the encouragement and confidence I can muster into their precious little brains. And I think, if I holler loudly enough the right combination of words, maybe I can break the back of self defeat before it slithers down from their heads to their hearts. Oh how my mama heart aches. Because I want better for them. I want easier. I don’t want them to suffer the things I suffer in this overly active and self critical brain. I don’t want them to internalize the voice of self abasement I hear constantly ridiculing me…at this particular moment, for not being able to control my tongue, let alone my emotions. (You guys…I am supposed to be a counselor. I hope to GOD I never see a client on the ball fields. 🤞🏻😭). And God help the person who tips this al...

It never dawned on me, until much later in my life (after Matt pointed it out - to be exact) how poignantly timed the celebration of Jesus's resurrection, as all of creation (in our parts, at least) is replicating that exact, profound regeneration. Our first asparagus for the year!  (And harvest, for that matter...except that we had one over-wintered carrot.). It was so flavorful and juicy.  Asparagus is planted deep and pulls up valuable minerals from well down into the soil.  Aren't you glad I took the time to educate? 😉😁   I LOVE SPRING!! I love the color.  I love the life.  I love the hope.  (I do not so much love the rain, or especially a cold and rainy Easter...but I have learned to forego the pleasures of sunshine for the quantity of life it later brings.) We had the entire weekend off from school, from work (excepting Matt), from baseball, from everything.  Please don't tell the baseball moms how much I enjoyed my time.  I mean...I,...

 Oh, there are days when I have to Thank God for bringing me to counseling.  Not only because I have all of this nurturing empathy to share, but also because I have learned and continue to learn so much about myself...and with this kind of knowledge comes a precious freedom that enables me to continue to be genuine and transparent, which enables me to be a better counselor and person. At least, Jesse thinks I am a good person... It's crazy how we can walk around so unaware of the baggage that we carry.  Then, someone shakes the Coke bottle.  And someone else. And someone else.  And someone else.  And then some "nasty little imp" comes along and turns the cap.  We lose it.  We explode.  We pour out our ugliness all over the room, leaving a sticky, sugary mess on anyone and everything in our path.  And it is humiliating.  It is disappointing.  It is discouraging.  And it is annoying, because now we have to go around trying t...