Oh Unholy Night

Where do I begin?  How do I ever catch up the last 2 terribly rough months?

I guess I could start with:

That little badword-er showed a line in "T" before "C," and I will confess, it MADE ME MAD!

Haven’t been THAT miserable in a long time.  (Think Evan…pregnancy and post delivery pancreatitis style misery.). I can’t even put my finger on what it was that made me so miserable.  Constant coughing?  Repeatedly choking and struggling just to swallow and breathe? Everything aching?  (Like…my WHOLE body.). Or those jaw/neck glands on (literal???) fire.  I remember wrapping the heat pad and tying it around my neck for a meager ounce of relief.  

But…why go on?  You know it’s bad.  And besides, I can complete the picture easily by telling you even Matt took the week off of work (for the first time since my sister died 2016), so…yeah.  It was bad.

Who's that I see walkin' in these woods?

Also…didn’t help that Dillon broke his leg right around the same time.  Because jumping down a flight of stairs sounds like a brilliant idea, apparently, when you are Kristen Shanna’s 13 year old progeny.

I can’t even.  You guys.  Seriously.  Since October 27th, life has been like “Pre-Apocalypse Hell: The Mini-Series (Extended Version).”  

It seemed like it took FOREVER to recover, and then SLAM!  It’s back to it with barely a shred of Me-ness left to “fight the good fight.”  And just as soon as I started to get my feet under me…another punch in the gut.  (Didn’t I say I was sure 13 would be difficult with this one???). 

I can’t.

I can’t.  I can’t. I can’t. I can’t.  I CAN’T.

Sunrise. Sunset.  Swiftly fly the years...

Think, like,  it’s the new versions…Little engine 2.022.  I Think (Therefore) I Can’t.

Ok.  Let’s turn this train around (because we BOTH know I have NO real choice in the matter.  Ummm…yeah…giving up is not written in my DNA.).  

At least:

I, literally, only spent $10 on Halloween costumes this year.  As it turns out, I was super grateful Dillon never found one.  Because his Halloween was minimized by the damaged leg.

All you need is LOVE!...and a heck of a lot of it.

Evan, on the other hand, insisted on a “Jason” mask and axe.  He didn’t want any part of the rest of the costume Spirit had on hand (and jeans are not a wardrobe option for this one).  So, he stuck with his blue uniform pants and zip-hoodie…and our costume purchase was about as uneventful as our Halloween…which meant I was in bed at a decent time.  And if you don’t yet know how essential is sleep to my functioning, then I can’t help you, my friend.  (It’s obvious I am not important enough for you to pay attention.  #epicbow #curtaindrop.)

If I went into details, I might break your heart.  But..these girls and this night...

An….eeeee…way…in the meantime, I accidentally let my website domain expire. (Any “a little” traumatized “homies” out there???)  It happens. (Twice, for me.) I took the sabbatical to debate whether or not to continue, and I STILL have not decided.  Maybe this is my McRib-style “farewell tour.”  Who knows??  

All I know is I needed “to talk” to my friends, as it is LONG overdue.   And, so, here is my Ketchup post…whether you ever receive it or not.

In summary...I have fought extreme distraction to not acknowledge that:

1) My first baby just turned 21...and left me for New York to do it.  Sigh.

2) My second baby is graduating high school THIS MAY!!!

3) My third baby is growing out of my reach...while he has me, universally, seeing RED

BUT...

4) My fourth baby is still here...that same sweet, little guy...for now!!

Sooooo...

CLINGING my blessings now, as ever before.

Love, mercy, grace and peace my friends.  Pray for me, because I need it!

amen.