Wednesday Morning, 3am


Or pm...what does it matter?  I just don't like leaving things undone.  It may be the last you hear from me, but it will be finished!  So, the next day...June 16...

All my children...


...was the day I've been looking forward to all along.  I got to see my lifetime friend!  (Oh darn!  I already shared the photo.  I get excited and jump the gun like that...💁) 

We got to be alone together for like 30 whole minutes, and I'm pretty sure we picked up right about junior high. It was sooooooo good for my heart!  

There are some friends that just click and you know they love you and you know you love them.  And then she started talking about having a girls' reunion and all the fun we would have, and I started to freeze up and said I would bring my family...and she said no I wouldn't and I finally felt safe to be honest (about a LOT of things!!), "Oh, Stacy...I don't do well in groups."

And she had me at, "I know."

Like Sands Through the Hourglass... (enough with the references, already!)


Do you know what it's like to be KNOWN?!!!!  Like REALLY known.  Like...jr high sleepovers and high school softball championship games known??  (But, oh goodness, how little we really knew...and that was the best part to get to share and to share our truths and our reciprocal empathy, compassion and love.  I can't.  It is priceless to me, that day at Lulu's with Stacy.  I would be happy to end here.)

I had been a little stressed driving there, because I decided last minute to drop Matt and the boys to see Spiderman (since it was raining), and I was running a little late.  But then I figured, it was best that she would be the one to arrive first.  And she did.  And that's how it has always been with us.  And it felt good to touch that version of me who was just "the late one" (and see her fill "the motherly one" role I remembered) and not be viewed with all this responsible-ness I've got going on in my life now.

I embraced my inner child the day I reconnected with my childhood friend.  I carried her with me to the beach that evening, and I let that mustang spirit flow.  As I watched the kids trying out the boogie boards, I felt a longing stir.  And this time, I pushed through repression.  I made my way into the water (I don't tend to be brave in opaque waters...see thalassophobia - I learn something new every day!).  I put aside apprehension and chose brave, because the truth is I LOVE to swim (I just prefer to know what's in there with me).  I wasn't even wearing my swim suit.  I walked right in, fully clothed, and Xander must have just understood.  She handed me the board, and I hopped on.  I didn't care what people thought or how I appeared. I failed and failed and tried again...over and over until I found the wave I'd been seeking.  Oh the freedom in that ride!  All I can say is IT.  FELT.  GOOD!

I never caught another one, though I continued to try.  I accepted the disappointment and chose gratitude for the one. Eventually (I knew I HAD to), I walked back onto the beach and put on "Mom" again.  But I HAD my moment....sssss.  I had my moments, and I have learned to call that "a good day."

...so are the Days of Our Lives.  (Sorry.  I am feeling a little flash-backy.  I'm (probably not) done.  I promise.


But, seriously, you guys...this HAS to stop.  For one thing, I'm running out of song references.  I actually had to look up "Wednesday" and stretch the theme with an album (because I love Simon and Garfunkel, and the first 5 seconds of Elvis Costello's didn't stir me.).  If we make it to Friday, I just might be disowned.  And we don't want that.  NOBODY wants that...


Goodnight, from me and my chicken art.

I call this one, "Hello, this is our Farmhouse..."






Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Living in Kristen's Paradise

Image
Birds are my new bestie.  This guy danced with me, spoke to me...and as I was walking to the door, he actually told me "Bye."  💕💕💕 Well, guys...it's a keep the curtains closed kind of weekend.  So sad for such a sunny disposition as my own, don’t you think?  It's a beautiful weekend, and I would LOVE to enjoy it. I don't mean to be un-neighborly, I promise.  I guess I've just spent all the sunshine within me, and I'm going to need some SERIOUS SPACE to refill.  I'm sorry, Mr. Rogers.  I tried.  I just don't seem to have the capacity to be very neighborly today.  I’ll be back, when the day is… Oh, I don’t know.  Maybe I won’t be back at all!  Boo! In case you are jealous, the grass is definitely NOT greener over here in Kristenville today.  In case you already noticed, my grass is actually dying from my personal neglect, and I seem to have run out of spray paint.  I can’t even keep up a façade right now.  So...let's...
Read more

Happily Ever Sunset, After All - Day 2, Colorado

Image
I did not expect the eye roll and "gross!" response I got the first time I told someone (my sister) that Matt dries my hair for me.  I want to say I do not KNOW how I got so lucky to have a husband who cares so much about helping me (...every...little...detail), but that's not entirely true.  I like to say it's been an acquired skill he has learned based on sheer desperation to keep me from not continually losing my $*@! 😬😂, but that's also not entirely true.  (Failed that one this weekend.  😢).  Let's leave it at I am grateful.  Self care (physical...I'm talking hygiene, people.) is a commonly known neglect in the neurodivergent world.  He's lucky I keep myself (mostly) clean.  I'm lucky he will dry my hair so I feel "pretty" sometimes (which is whenever I have time in between overbooking myself to ask for help). The original "Foxy Lady". We were early birds on our 2nd day in the mountains.  We took the time to enjoy the pea...
Read more

Kristen Doesn't-Go-Lightly. Amen.

Image
Hi, it's me.  It's Kristen - the (wo) man, the myth the "enigma"???  I'll take that as a compliment and move on.   But can you PLEASE hold on a minute while I just "tap out".  It's a new thing.  I don't have time to explain.  (FFR, look up "jiu jitsu.")  I don't have time for much of anything, actually, right now; which is why... Wait, no.  Nevermind!! I DON'T tap out!! I take that back. I can't tap out.   Why???  Because I can NEVER TAP OUT, AS LONG AS I HAVE BREATH, and that is just who I am. Unfortunately, somewhere along the line circa February 15, 1978, I got the idea that (my equivalent of) tapping out is a sign of weakness and that weakness (and, subsequently, any sign of backing down) is my mortal enemy.   A seven nation ARMY couldn't hold me back... You could stand me up at the gates of...(not gonna push it that far)...I WON'T BACK DOWN.  (Like EVER.) I have a question.  Do you think tenacity is more of a na...
Read more