Kristen Blog

 It was a stressful week for yours truly.  Several work meetings, lots of baseball, and every day just kind of merged into the next one.  I think it all started last weekend when our "time off" was driving and a baseball tournament. It's funny how uniquely this brain is configured.  As we were driving, I turned to Matt and said, "Sometimes, I get really overwhelmed driving as we pass all of these cars." He immediately concurred and started in on the ins and outs of driving around a bunch of people you don't know and cannot trust.  But that is not at all what I was thinking, and I had to explain. "No...its like...every car we pass, I look into each and every little life.  I read the joys, the stresses, the ups and downs, and somehow I feel responsible for it all.  Like...I have so much compassion and empathy and I FEEL for them, but I can't help them.  And I am overwhelmed.   "I feel the weight of the world resting on my shoulders, and I can...

  I had me a BIG day.  It started with the first day Matt was finally home, and I was feeling pretty good about my slow morning...and he started this trend of bringing me my mocha in bed.  So, later, when he abruptly obliterated the silence by barging into the room after I'd had an extended quiet time alone, I could obviously NOT fight the urge to shout,  "How DARE you enter my chambers so rudely unannounced?!!  I'm going to hire a herald to stand outside my door to introduce potential guests, 'The Master requests entry to the Queen's Chambers.'  "And before he is finished, I will reply emphatically, 'DENIED!' " He looked at me without expression, the sarcasm undeniably evident in his tone, "Yeah...ok."   He lost points for that. So, what have you been doing in this heat?  'Cause I've been watching baseball.  Fortunately for myself and the other guests, I had the scoreboard ALL weekend.  Woohoo! We had one good game and two t...

Summer is intense!  Baseball and work trips and I still can't manage to keep up with the house work.  I give up!!  But, guess what.  I put Evan in swim lessons.  I know...perfect, right?  It is the cutest thing EVER, and he is really learning a lot.  And, of course, he managed to get the BEST teachers ever, because that's just how it seems to go with this one.  It's nice to have a kid like that for the wrap up. Baseball has been tough.  This little team just hasn't been able to catch a break, and it's disheartening and discouraging and defeating all wrapped up in one frustrating little package.  But...did I mention they put me on the scoreboard?!!  Life changing!  Because 1) I have something to keep my focus.  So, I am less fidgety and nervous.  2) I have the BEST view of the field, so I really know if it was a terrible call.  3) I have to sit right by the umpire and the other team, which totally humanizes them s...

It was the most beautiful Saturday ever.  My kids took my kids to the pool.  (That's just one of the few pleasures of this crazy spread we've got going on over here.). They texted asking for Burger King, and I promised to make something better. And since, you know...Matt works 5 out of the next 6 days...it's all on me.  I fired up the grill.  And THIS time, I promised myself I was going to be smarter than those darn coals.  I knew I'd better put on plenty of lighter fluid the first time, because the second time...don't go so well.  Ya feeling me?  So, I proudly sprayed that fluid all over the place, and I started several fires, evenly distributed throughout the coals.  And when I came back from dealing with the squawking chickens, the fire was gone. Deep, exhausted sigh.  Could, maybe please, just one thing go right for me?  Please? Anyway, THIS time, I knew better.  After my second dosing, I pulled my hand back quick...so the huge ...

  There are many things about me which I don't believe my kids justly appreciate, but the most under-appreciated aspect of them all (as I see it) is their free access to daily, personalized comedy. And part of it has to do with what I like to call "Mom Tactics."  Mom Tactics are strategies that you invent (and constantly fine tune - like a guitar string) to psychologically manipulate each child.  Now, before you call the government, I am very open and obvious about my manipulations.  For example, when Eden (Matt Jr, female edition...ie, sweet and sensitive) tells me she will NOT take Jesse with her, I simply say in an overly loud and empathetic voice, "Awwwww...poor Jesse.  It's not that she doesn't like you.  She just doesn't want to take you with her." And, naturally, she turns, laughing; because, yeah...we both saw what I just did there.  It was equally obvious AND hilarious. Of course, if it were Xander, it would take a more intense tone.  No ...

  Oh, Wednesday.  Dear, terrible, horrible, no good Wednesday.   I was on vacation day 2, Matt went back to work, and I was super stressed (because apparently vacationing at home is horribly stressful).   I got that feeling, right between my eyes, that I am about to cry, or I could cry, or I need to/want to cry, and it just lingered there all day. My heart felt like it was going to burst right out of my chest.   Then, I found Eden, and I made her come and listen to my whining (and she rubbed my aching back!) and when I was done, she said, "Well...that sounds about like you." And, in my clear confusion, I asked, "What do you MEAN?!!" "Well...all of this stuff that's not your fault, and you feel guilty."  She actually shrugged.  "You're always feeling guilty about things that you can't control." Out of the mouths of babes. Babes I raised, btw... While I completely believe the kids feel it is their duty to completely drain me...each of m...

Friday was a good day.  The sun was shining.  I was knocking out problems and finding my way around road blocks like a boss.  So, all in all, kicking you know good and well what.   All the nice people were out, waiting their turns, waving me ahead of them, smiling.   And I was like, "Everything's going my way!!!" 🎶 Its funny how all the nice people come out when I'm in a good mood, and all the idiots and (well, you know...) show up when I'm cranky.  What a coincidence!  On the cusp of a few really tough weeks, and my natural bent toward complete and utter dissatisfaction with life, it was NICE to have a good day.   Upon reflection, I had a few, wise revelations: 1) I was reading Lamentations in my daily OT time, and...man their world's about to stink, like Royal Stench-stink.  I couldn't help but compare, as I sat in my big comfortable bed, looking out over my luscious garden, and thinking of the army I could feed just out of my pantry, and ...