Posts

After all…

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I hope he gets his Dad's composure. Oh, dear Heavenly Father, help me. There is no emotion greater than the one I experience as I watch my son and my “adopted” sons play baseball. When they are down in the count, and I am SCREAMING all the encouragement and confidence I can muster into their precious little brains. And I think, if I holler loudly enough the right combination of words, maybe I can break the back of self defeat before it slithers down from their heads to their hearts. Oh how my mama heart aches. Because I want better for them. I want easier. I don’t want them to suffer the things I suffer in this overly active and self critical brain. I don’t want them to internalize the voice of self abasement I hear constantly ridiculing me…at this particular moment, for not being able to control my tongue, let alone my emotions. (You guys…I am supposed to be a counselor. I hope to GOD I never see a client on the ball fields. 🀞🏻😭). And God help the person who tips this al...

The Very Appropriate, Tangible Representation of Resurrection and Hope

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It never dawned on me, until much later in my life (after Matt pointed it out - to be exact) how poignantly timed the celebration of Jesus's resurrection, as all of creation (in our parts, at least) is replicating that exact, profound regeneration. Our first asparagus for the year!  (And harvest, for that matter...except that we had one over-wintered carrot.). It was so flavorful and juicy.  Asparagus is planted deep and pulls up valuable minerals from well down into the soil.  Aren't you glad I took the time to educate? πŸ˜‰πŸ˜   I LOVE SPRING!! I love the color.  I love the life.  I love the hope.  (I do not so much love the rain, or especially a cold and rainy Easter...but I have learned to forego the pleasures of sunshine for the quantity of life it later brings.) We had the entire weekend off from school, from work (excepting Matt), from baseball, from everything.  Please don't tell the baseball moms how much I enjoyed my time.  I mean...I,...

Eden Turns 17, and I'm Still Growing Up!

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 Oh, there are days when I have to Thank God for bringing me to counseling.  Not only because I have all of this nurturing empathy to share, but also because I have learned and continue to learn so much about myself...and with this kind of knowledge comes a precious freedom that enables me to continue to be genuine and transparent, which enables me to be a better counselor and person. At least, Jesse thinks I am a good person... It's crazy how we can walk around so unaware of the baggage that we carry.  Then, someone shakes the Coke bottle.  And someone else. And someone else.  And someone else.  And then some "nasty little imp" comes along and turns the cap.  We lose it.  We explode.  We pour out our ugliness all over the room, leaving a sticky, sugary mess on anyone and everything in our path.  And it is humiliating.  It is disappointing.  It is discouraging.  And it is annoying, because now we have to go around trying t...

Hey there! It's Officially Spring.

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It appears I have fallen into an every other week blogging routine.  I'd say that is better than nothing!  Even if some little entries have to be short and sweet. I'm finding that I don't exactly have MORE time since I left MU.  However, I do have more freedom with my time.  It's just...there is so much around here desiring my time.  I still end up spinning plates.   And in many ways, I am feeling so much healthier: mentally, physically, spiritually.  For example, Matt makes me take these pictures, and despite my inner critic and my utter discomfort...I choose to see myself through his eyes.  And I post them. And speaking of time...Spring Break breezed through here like a hurricane.  I spent a lot of time on little cleaning projects that have been on my to-do for about a year.  Despite a pity-party here and there as I watched others post their vacation pics, it is ALWAYS a relief when I get to the nitty-gritty around here.  I feel s...

Life is a Lot Like the Weather (in Missouri)...

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 Hey!!  Long time no...blog. It has been a busy couple of weeks, in a good way.  I had every intention of blogging last Sunday, but I had a surprise opportunity to watch my great nephew for the VERY first time, so...sorry, not sorry. I think we wore him out with all of the people and attention.  He fell asleep on the 2 minute drive from our house to the restaurant, where we celebrated my Dad's birthday.  Then, he slept through the whole dinner, which was an hour - in a busy restaurant!  What an amazing little guy.  You can clearly see who he prefers... It was, literally, my favorite day.  And, given I have my hands quite full these days, I was extremely grateful my little invite came on a day when I was home and available.  It's not every day you get a chance to snuggle with a little great! And speaking of hands full...let's talk about laundry. I came, I saw, I conquered the laundry.  Seriously...I have had overflow for the last month or...

Be Gentle on Yourself...and All That Entails

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Ho...Ho...Hooooooly Roller Coaster, Batman.  Have I been on a wild ride the last two weeks!!  I have had every extreme in the emotional sense, from the highest of high to the lowest of low, it seems.  Half the lows originated from right within my own self, and for that I am so disappointed.  But...it's a reminder that I need to always be aware and continuing the work of growth and development within my heart and mind. Just because I have the knowledge of a counselor doesn't mean I always remember to personally apply it.  And besides, counselors need some backup, too.  I am only human, after all. My very appropriate Valentine and birthday gift from my love. 🍷 Anyway, I completely failed last weekend and became a major contributor to a couple of really crummy days around here.  I'm not exactly sure the root of my failure, but I have a few sneaking suspicions.  For one, I have been carrying some heavy stuff in my work (a natural part of the job). ...

Happy February

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Happy February!!  It happens to be one of my favorite months.  πŸ˜  No bias, of course. As brute as he can be...he has his moments.  Jesse sure can be sweet sometimes.  If only we could get past the NOT sweet times. I had a happy balance of appointments and down-time to plan this week.  As it turns out, Sunday was probably our most hectic day.  What do you do?  When you live with health care, you have to be adaptable, because this schedule is flightier than my moods. I managed to get a Facebook page,   Instagram and Linked In for Kristen O'Hara Counseling.    Thanks to all who have already put in the effort to support through likes, comments, referrals, etc.  I love this job! I am definitely thinking ahead.  I don't know that it will be sustainable to keep all three going.  I barely even post to my knitting pages anymore.  I may have to archive...or let them sit, so I can streamline my focus.  I would miss ...