Kristen Blog

The boys are officially done with school!!!  Do you know what this means? 3 months free of mornings for me.  Thank You, God!! Sliding into summer like... You guys...I promise I do not exaggerate when I say I am soooooo bad at mornings.  And I promise I'm not just being lazy...or a big baby.  In fact, there are mornings when I can get up early just fine.  But not consistently.  And when I can't.  I CAN NOT.  There was one day last week (the final week, which should have been motivating) I dragged myself - and them - out of bed at 7:10.  It's a 15 minute drive, and we have to be there by 7:45!!  That same morning, I seriously considered keeping them home, so I could get sleep.  I am completely irrational when I am tired. I have inherited a sleep disorder and very likely some other missed diagnoses (being a counselor is teaching me so much about myself!), suffice to say this is why Matt guards the door when I am taking a nap.  He protects my sleep like a knight protecting his

 Yep...you read that right! Unfortunately, it is Manhattan, KS, and I am spending the entire Mother's Day weekend alone with my 12yo (sarcastic and often belittling) son.  We'll see how I manage to keep my cool. The male version mini-me.  It has been a special time, so far...one more day of gaming to go.  💕⚾ I had thought my solo travels a thing of the past, but…once again God and destiny laughed in my face. Alright then, I have experience with this sort of thing (and losing sleep over missed holidays is so 1999!).  #healthcarewife.  I had my mind set to make it simple and pack light.  Matt thought otherwise. I came into the kitchen to find he had already started gathering items and making a list of essentials, which included: a loaf of bread, a large tub of peanut butter, several cups, a gallon of milk, and an almost full VERY large box of wine.  And that was just the start of his packings for me.  Apparently, he would not be sending THIS wife away on a lone quest empty-hande

I hope he gets his Dad's composure. Oh, dear Heavenly Father, help me. There is no emotion greater than the one I experience as I watch my son and my “adopted” sons play baseball. When they are down in the count, and I am SCREAMING all the encouragement and confidence I can muster into their precious little brains. And I think, if I holler loudly enough the right combination of words, maybe I can break the back of self defeat before it slithers down from their heads to their hearts. Oh how my mama heart aches. Because I want better for them. I want easier. I don’t want them to suffer the things I suffer in this overly active and self critical brain. I don’t want them to internalize the voice of self abasement I hear constantly ridiculing me…at this particular moment, for not being able to control my tongue, let alone my emotions. (You guys…I am supposed to be a counselor. I hope to GOD I never see a client on the ball fields. 🤞🏻😭). And God help the person who tips this al

It never dawned on me, until much later in my life (after Matt pointed it out - to be exact) how poignantly timed the celebration of Jesus's resurrection, as all of creation (in our parts, at least) is replicating that exact, profound regeneration. Our first asparagus for the year!  (And harvest, for that matter...except that we had one over-wintered carrot.). It was so flavorful and juicy.  Asparagus is planted deep and pulls up valuable minerals from well down into the soil.  Aren't you glad I took the time to educate? 😉😁   I LOVE SPRING!! I love the color.  I love the life.  I love the hope.  (I do not so much love the rain, or especially a cold and rainy Easter...but I have learned to forego the pleasures of sunshine for the quantity of life it later brings.) We had the entire weekend off from school, from work (excepting Matt), from baseball, from everything.  Please don't tell the baseball moms how much I enjoyed my time.  I mean...I, too, have developed a love for

 Oh, there are days when I have to Thank God for bringing me to counseling.  Not only because I have all of this nurturing empathy to share, but also because I have learned and continue to learn so much about myself...and with this kind of knowledge comes a precious freedom that enables me to continue to be genuine and transparent, which enables me to be a better counselor and person. At least, Jesse thinks I am a good person... It's crazy how we can walk around so unaware of the baggage that we carry.  Then, someone shakes the Coke bottle.  And someone else. And someone else.  And someone else.  And then some "nasty little imp" comes along and turns the cap.  We lose it.  We explode.  We pour out our ugliness all over the room, leaving a sticky, sugary mess on anyone and everything in our path.  And it is humiliating.  It is disappointing.  It is discouraging.  And it is annoying, because now we have to go around trying to clean up a nearly impossible mess. 44 years and

It appears I have fallen into an every other week blogging routine.  I'd say that is better than nothing!  Even if some little entries have to be short and sweet. I'm finding that I don't exactly have MORE time since I left MU.  However, I do have more freedom with my time.  It's just...there is so much around here desiring my time.  I still end up spinning plates.   And in many ways, I am feeling so much healthier: mentally, physically, spiritually.  For example, Matt makes me take these pictures, and despite my inner critic and my utter discomfort...I choose to see myself through his eyes.  And I post them. And speaking of time...Spring Break breezed through here like a hurricane.  I spent a lot of time on little cleaning projects that have been on my to-do for about a year.  Despite a pity-party here and there as I watched others post their vacation pics, it is ALWAYS a relief when I get to the nitty-gritty around here.  I feel so...ahhhhhh....fresh! I do love spring

 Hey!!  Long time no...blog. It has been a busy couple of weeks, in a good way.  I had every intention of blogging last Sunday, but I had a surprise opportunity to watch my great nephew for the VERY first time, so...sorry, not sorry. I think we wore him out with all of the people and attention.  He fell asleep on the 2 minute drive from our house to the restaurant, where we celebrated my Dad's birthday.  Then, he slept through the whole dinner, which was an hour - in a busy restaurant!  What an amazing little guy.  You can clearly see who he prefers... It was, literally, my favorite day.  And, given I have my hands quite full these days, I was extremely grateful my little invite came on a day when I was home and available.  It's not every day you get a chance to snuggle with a little great! And speaking of hands full...let's talk about laundry. I came, I saw, I conquered the laundry.  Seriously...I have had overflow for the last month or more.  It took me all of a four day